


Numb

by geeksthetics



Category: Chronicles of Narnia - All Media Types, Chronicles of Narnia - C. S. Lewis
Genre: Angst, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-17
Updated: 2018-05-17
Packaged: 2019-05-08 05:50:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 672
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14687799
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/geeksthetics/pseuds/geeksthetics
Summary: There were no thoughts, no emotions. She remained unfeeling. She briefly wondered if there was something wrong with her. Why wasn’t she sobbing? Why wasn’t she cursing God for the train accident? Why wasn’t she feeling anything?





	Numb

“I will be outside, Miss Pevensie. You have all the time you need.”

Susan deftly nodded her head; she had only been half listening to Mr. Richards.

Mr. Richards was her parents’ landlord – or rather, had been her parents’ landlord.

Susan’s feet moved but she didn’t notice. Her hands turned the front door’s knob and pushed the door open. She walked through the threshold that she had known since she was a child. This house remained even after the bombings of World War II; her mother had called it a blessing. This house that had stood through everything in her short life should be falling apart. The walls should be crumbling, the ceilings painted with cracks, the roof ready to concave and collapse over Susan.

Yet somehow it stood.

Susan walked past her father’s recliner, and she walked past her mother’s sewing room, and climbed the stairs to the second floor. She passed Edmund’s room – it was covered in papers and books, the bed left unmade – and passed Peter’s room – he had been visiting from university and unlike Edmund’s room, Peter’s was spotless, except for the ink spilling over onto his desk from the spilled ink pot – and passed Lucy’s room – stuffed animals sat on the bay window and threaded pillows covered the mattress – and stood in front of her bedroom’s door.

Her door was the only one closed. Every other door in the house had been left wide open, welcoming and inviting. Susan’s door was the only one shut, shielding intruders’ eyes from peeking inside.

Susan opened the door and entered the room that was familiar and unfamiliar to her all at the same time. The pristineness of the place shook Susan to her core. The wooden furniture, painted a pure white, blended against the white walls. The door to her closet kept her clothes hidden from view. Everything was stark white, almost impossible to look at directly. The only color in the room came from the brown envelope lying on her white mattress sheets.

Susan remembered receiving the envelope. Peter had given it to her the morning of that unfortunate day. His words had been, “Just in case I can’t give it to you later.” Those had been his last words to her.

Susan picked up the sealed envelope. It bulged and weighed about a stone or two. She left it sealed as she made her way to her vanity and sat heavily.

There were no thoughts, no emotions. She remained unfeeling. She briefly wondered if there was something wrong with her. Why wasn’t she sobbing? Why wasn’t she cursing God for the train accident? Why wasn’t she feeling _anything_?

Looking at herself in the mirror, she expected to hate what she saw. She expected red-rimmed eyes and tear-stained cheeks and dark bags under her eyes. She saw no such evidence of misery. Why didn’t she so much as appear sad?

They were gone. They were all gone. She should be feeling something, she should be feeling  _anything_.

Yet she remained numb.

Susan silently picked up the envelope and delicately peeled off the seal. The contents of the envelope poured out onto the vanity: a note in Peter’s hand and a cloth-bag holding something heavy.

Susan picked up the note.

 _“Lucy and Edmund had found this after their last trip to Narnia. It had appeared in the Scrubbs’ guest room where Lucy had been staying that summer. Aslan must have breathed on it and sent it to our world. We were hoping to give it to you on your twenty-first birthday – like last time._  
_I love you lots – Peter.”_

Curiously, Susan opened the cloth-bag and gasped. The rubies and platinum shone as bright they had the day she had first received them.

The bag fell from Susan’s hands.

A few hours later, Mr. Richards worriedly climbed the stairs to find Susan silently crying in front of her vanity. She clutched Peter’s letter in one hand and the beautiful necklace in the other.

Susan was no longer numb – she felt pain.


End file.
